Bridesmaids: Whether best friends or close family, whether you have been sharing your dream wedding with them since you were 5 or you found each other in your 30s at work, choosing them to be part of the most precious moment of your life is an honour and a challenging task in its own merit. Surely you thought over your options very carefully, made your decision wisely and popped the question with the glory and attention it deserves. But when they said yes, did they know what they were getting into?
Have a look at the below insight from Stella and Moscha and share with your best girls to make sure they tick all the boxes and are ready for your big day.
Ok, this sounds like a given, but it is not always the case. Your maid of honour and bridesmaids are not your wedding planner. You shouldn't expect of them to be, but they should help you out with certain things, nonetheless.
Photo by George Pahountis
Don't get me wrong, you definitely don't want your bridesmaids to be taking initiatives that affect the overall style of the wedding or your budget. What they can and should do instead, is be proactive and show excitement; they can scout for dresses, shoes, stationary etc and give you ideas you can bounce off of. This also extends to the day of the wedding. If for example, they see that something is going wrong, instead of panicking or being passive, what they should step up and do something about it before coming to you. This will only inflict further stress and you will probably not be able to do anything about it.
Photo by Phosart
Be responsible for at least one task
Planning a wedding is a lot of work - We know!!! Even if you have a planner there will always be things that you will have to do yourself and decisions you will have to make on your own without the help of a professional. Best thing to do, so as not to lose your marbles 5 months before the big day is to Allocate! People love to help brides in need. It makes them feel part of the wedding and you will have your closest people there to “take advantage of” and “use” with their permission. Give each bridesmaid at least one thing to be in charge of: whether it is the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, to maintain the rsvp list or take care of the gifts on the day.
Photo by Nikos Karvounis
Yes, we all have jobs, and your wedding is not everyone's #1 priority; but if someone has agreed to be in your bridal party they should at least make the effort to attend one or more, if not all of the pre-wedding affairs. Otherwise, what are they there for if not to be part of the fun?
Photo by George Pahountis
Keep your opinion to yourself
If you're in the bridal party it probably means that you know your bride better than most. You ideally know her style, her likes and dislikes etc. DO give her your opinion and respectful/productive feedback but DON'T tell her what you would do in her shoes. If you are already married don't give her examples from your experience unless you are asked to do so. Similarly, if you've never been married, telling her that if it were you wedding the charger plates would be gold instead of silver is not helping anyone. It's not your wedding. This is about what makes her and her fiance happy - You're there to help, smile and be happy with her happiness.
Photo by Thanos Asfis
Refrain from any kind of drama. If you can stay out of an argument - do it, if you can put an end to an argument or avert one - do it. Under no circumstances is it ok for you to cause conflicts or complain about things you can't change or bring up long forgotten feuds with fellow bridesmaids. We're not saying you should be a cold robot that says yes to everything but keep in mind that in any group of women each one of them will have very different ideas and styles and this alone will cause trouble. Just try to stay away from it and don't let it affect the bride or the atmosphere in the group!
Photo by Nikos Gogas